Dude, I’m overwhelmed…all the time!
Why is every day so hard? Why do I always feel stressed out? Will it ever change? We all have bad days. We have times in our lives where we may feel more anxious or depressed than normal. This is not a sign that we are broken, or that there is something wrong with us. As humans we are meant to experience all the emotions, as this is part of living: we experience the good, the bad, the heartbreaking, and the frustrating. There is no joy without pain.
Often these darker times in our lives arise as we are triggered by a distressing event. Remember: It is normal and okay to be down for a while after we experience something of this magnitude. All too often we “should” ourselves and begin to subscribe to unhealthy beliefs about ourselves, namely about being alone in our pain, and believing that others seem to have it all figured out. This becomes an issue when these beliefs escalate our current emotional distress, and it begins to negatively impact and limit our lives.
What does it mean to be “stressed out”?
The clinical term for “being stressed out” is what we refer to as emotional distress or dysregulation. This encompasses a number of different symptoms and the combination of them may be unique to each individual. Emotional distress involves experiencing chronic stress, whether consciously or unconsciously. It may be difficult to notice emotional distress if it has become the norm in your life.
Here are some red flags to look out for:
Sleep disturbances: This could be sleeping more or less than usual. It may include an inability to fall asleep, stay asleep or even an increase in sleep.
Chronic Tiredness, Fatigue, and Lack of Energy: When your body has been under emotional distress it may start to shut down resulting in chronic fatigue. No amount of sleep seems to impact the lack of energy you feel. This can result in you discontinuing the things you love and can contribute to the development of depression.
Dramatic Changes in Weight/ Appetite: An increase or loss of weight not due to exercise or diet may be a sign of underlying stress. Are you constantly thinking about food? Or have you lost your appetite completely?
Unexplained physical symptoms: Your body may be telling you it’s under distress. This could include an increase in gastrointestinal issues, digestion, increase in body pain, neck pain, back pain, headaches, flu-like symptoms, weakness, and fatigue.
Erratic emotions:: You can experience an increase in anger, anxiety, depression, or numbness. You may find yourself irritated by small things and by people resulting in explosions.
Emotional Distress and Addiction
Those who have struggled with substance abuse intimately know emotional distress. Often substances are used as a way to try to numb and avoid the stressors in their life or the pain and stress from struggling with substance abuse. However, it quickly becomes a vicious cycle. Life is painful and stressful at times but it is often our denial of this fact or the compulsion to want to run away from it that causes the most emotional distress. This may take the shape of worrying and stressing about everything that “could” go wrong or the obsessive rumination over the things we have gotten wrong in the past.
Life causes emotional distress and clearly, substance abuse exacerbates this issue. It is an insidious relationship however, as it may feel in the moment to help individuals overcome their difficulty by numbing themselves to it. However, what we know about numbing is that it will only work for a little while, until the effects of the substance wear off.
Ultimately, it’s important to notice what you’re actually feeling, allow yourself to experience whatever emotions or physical sensations arise, and remind yourself that you are not your feelings.
If this article highlighted an area of growth for you, or helped you to recognize that perhaps you have an unhealthy relationship with stress, make sure to stay tuned for the next installment in this series where we discuss more in detail the ways to overcome emotional distress.
