In today’s society that is often driven by avoidance and shame, it is easy to fall into the trap of passing judgment on one’s self and others as a replacement for true connection and honest evaluation. Just as much as judgment is a way to put walls up to avoid the necessity of understanding others, to regard them as irreconcilably different, and incapable of similarity, when directed at the self, it is a way to disengage from our growth potential, and convince ourselves that we offer nothing of value.

Seeking treatment in the case of addiction can be intimidating. There is much conflicting information regarding treatment outcomes, and often disparity exists between what insurance companies believe is effective treatment for problems as serious as opioid use disorders, and what these individuals may actually need.

When addiction grips one member of the family, no one is left unaffected. Whether it is patterns of codependency observed in a spouse, predictable roles assumed by children, or the burden of child-rearing placed on grandparents, patterns of addictive behavior are insidious, and often leave only chaos in their wake.

Addiction treatment over the past 100 years has come a long way. Especially when considering people who struggled with alcohol and drugs were reduced to terms like, “sinners”, “junkies”, and “drunks,” and at best found help in the form of spiritual direction. Not that people didn’t experience change, some did. But culturally, addiction was crammed into the dark spaces of stigma and misunderstanding, leaving those who struggled with very limited options for help.

The CDC reports (2014) that about 35% of the adult U.S. population is receiving less than the recommended 7 hours of sleep a night. While this may not appear to be an immediate cause for concern, receiving inadequate sleep at night has been newly classified as increasing the risk of developing cancer from the World Health Organization, and is linked with Alzheimer’s disease, depression, anxiety, obesity, stroke, chronic pain, diabetes and heart attacks, among other medical conditions. This is in addition to contributing to a sleep-deprived person’s irritability, impaired mental functions, and lowered immune defenses.

One of the early pioneers of human psychology, Carl Jung surely understood the power of the spirit. He was once quoted as saying that we as humans are born three times. The first, our physical birth, the second, which marks the development of the ego, and the third, our awakening to what he called “spiritual consciousness”. According to him, the spiritual life constitutes the very core of one’s inner life, and our spiritual need is as “real as hunger and the fear of death”.

Not everyone may describe themselves as spiritual, however, what can be agreed upon is that there is an inherent spiritual instinct within human nature that points towards the larger questions in life.

In today’s society, we are wired and constantly online, never alone. At the touch of a button, we can be immersed in our online worlds, with something to do, and someone to talk to. We may even find the idea of being alone threatening, leading to a sense of dread that we may have nothing left to do but think. In fact, the somewhat humorous results of a study published in Science Magazine found that individuals preferred to give themselves electric shocks than to be alone with their thoughts for only 15 minutes. The results revealed what perhaps we already knew intuitively, that most people appear to prefer doing something rather than nothing, even if it leads to an undesired consequence.

In today’s modern age, we are often living in ways that keep us isolated and disconnected from those around us. We curate our lives on social media, striving to live up to the expectations of others while hiding behind the mask we have created. Eventually, we can become trapped in our own self-narrative. While there can be times where we are disappointed with what we see, rarely is anything done until mental health or substance use issues have surfaced, prompting a desire to change.

Before it becomes a problem, inattention to our feelings seems like an effective coping mechanism. It’s a way of survival, of dealing with discomfort. Learning to ‘shut down’ to our feelings begins typically because we are subject to an environment where that behavior is rewarded. The problem arises when we get older and are subject to new environments and those old methods for dealing with things no longer work for us. These patterns can become destructive and lead to aggression, depression, relationship difficulties or addiction.

In a poignant video about the state of today’s social crisis, Johann Hari laments, “Every instinct that we evolved as human beings is to be part of tribes; of communities. Bees need a hive, humans need a tribe.” However he goes on to add, “We’ve been told this story that we should think of ourselves not like that… but as individual, economic rationalizers. The reality is that mentality has produced a society considered lonelier than any previous human society. We are the first human beings who have ever tried to disband our tribes and live alone”.

When your loved one continues in a life of active addiction it can be absolutely heartbreaking to bear witness to the consequences they face as a result. Whether it is ailing health, financial or legal troubles, or the outright lack of concern it seems they have for your relationship, it is never easy to just stand by and watch them unravel. 

The National Institute on Drug Addiction cites four reasons why individuals take drugs: to feel good, to feel better, to do better, or out of curiosity and social pressure. However while these might describe the reasons why an individual might admit that they experimented with drug use, often the initial shaping of a susceptible personality has already been developed way prior to the first incidence of use. Without attention or correction, our early relationship with our emotions sets the stage for the way that we process through emotions for the rest of our lives, and become the strategies that we use to adapt to difficult environments.

In 2014, among adults diagnosed with a substance use disorder, 39.1 percent were also found to be suffering from some form of mental illness in the past year (7.9 million people), 11.3 percent of whom were diagnosed with a severe mental illness, such as bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. This represents about one-fourth (23.3%) of adults in the study with a severe mental illness.

“When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil. But I have seen the beauty of good, and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own—not of the same blood or birth, but the same mind, and possessing a share of the divine. And so none of them can hurt me.” -Marcus Aurelius

Perhaps this is a bit of an aggressive way to start off a post about how to start your day, however, we believe that it speaks to a number of truths about setting your intentions for the day. It is wise to admit to the self that there will likely be an encounter with another throughout the day that is tainted by humanity, whether theirs or yours. 

Too often, while in the midst of the hard work of recovery, while working so diligently to free oneself from the grip of addiction, individuals are at risk of falling prey to other equally damaging addictions, especially in terms of what they eat; namely sugar, carbs, and comfort food. Too often at Peace Club, we see our clients who are on fire for recovery, making needed changes in many areas of their life, but turning a blind eye to what they are consuming.

It is well known that spending time outdoors is good for us: the sights, sounds, smells, and the feel of nature all have a large impact on us, and on the way that we feel. In recent years, we know this to be true in the ways that architects, city planners, and interior designers alike are working to revitalize our cities, and breathe life back into well-worn buildings and streets, and into the places that we call home. 

Gone are the days where in order to beat your addiction the only option is to uproot your life and complete a few months at a rehab center, only to leave sooner than planned, with little to no connection to your recovery community. While this approach is still useful and works for many people, most people leave traditional rehab with a lot of dread and apprehension about safely integrating back into society and using their aftercare program to stay sober.

Forgiveness is the act of letting go of feelings of anger, resentment, and desire for retribution towards wrongdoing. It can be incredibly difficult to do, but forgiving both yourself and others is therapeutic and necessary.

While it can at times be easier to forgive others for mistakes they’ve made, many people find it very difficult to forgive themselves. There are some notable reasons that make self-forgiveness difficult and make people punish and shame themselves over relatively minor mistakes where they may easily offer grace to others who made similar errors.