Barriers to Change
Change: the all-elusive substance required for growth. We certainly want others to do it, and many times we even want it ourselves, although we may find it just out of our reach. What we do know is this: change is absolutely essential for growth and development as a person. Without it, we run the risk of repeating the same maladaptive patterns and getting caught in one of life’s vicious cycles.
For some, change is scary. It represents a move towards the unknown, and some prefer to stay put in favor of known obstacles and mundane but “safe” territory. For others, life seems to lack meaning and significance and they’ve recognized the need to step into the unknown, but they remain stuck. They may be serious about the change, but can’t seem to figure out how to go about it, although there may be many reasons why they haven’t been successful in navigating change.
Denial
Those in denial simply do not want to change their ways. Usually, this results from a failure to see connections between their behaviors and the negative problems in their life, or the benefits of changing are unclear. Someone would also be in denial if they espouse an overconfident or arrogant ideology, reporting that they could “easily change if they wanted to, the problem is that they don’t want to”. A statement such as this is usually a sign of someone who hasn’t truly attempted the changed behavior.
Misguided Ideas about Motivation
Even when someone may have convinced themselves or others in their lives that they are ready to change, if progress does not follow, the truth is that they are operating under a delusion. They may have certain ideas about what it means to be motivated and remain waiting for the magic motivation wand to do its work. Clearly, they are still benefitting in some way from the continued behavior (i.e. aggression that allows them a reputation as being “tough”; or self-pity that allows them to “play the victim”) or have not felt enough pain or negative consequences to motivate them to make a different choice. There is a reason that it is said that many individuals do not change until they hit ‘rock bottom’.
Lack of Discipline
This describes individuals who have “tried” to change before but it didn’t work. In reality, these folks are lacking consistency and self- discipline to get past the first major hurdle, often with no goals, no motivation, and no role models. The truth is that it is hard to change, especially once maladaptive behavior is ingrained as a habit. In order to change a conditioned and seemingly reflexive response, it takes a great summoning of strength, courage, and quite a commitment of time and energy. One of the greatest hurdles to overcome can be one’s attitude directed towards changing, as that sets the tone for the whole venture.
Self- Identity
In order to create change in your life, it can sometimes be necessary to give up something valued, even if it is just a reputation. Some people may wrongly allow their self-identity to become wrapped up in aspects of the old habit they are trying to kick. This becomes one of the most tenuous aspects of the change process to navigate, as it requires a little creativity, and the courage to redefine oneself.
Fear
Of course, what may be holding us back can also be observed on an emotional level. We may be lacking courage, confidence, or be ruled by the fear of having our weaknesses exposed. Culminating together is a fear of the unknown, of what life will look like in the future, and who they will be without that all-important aspect of their identity.
Pride
Opposite on the spectrum is the vice of pride that may keep someone from seeking help or assistance in their quest to change. Similar to those in denial, this points to a lack of knowledge, a lack of tools, and an assessment (perhaps accurate) that the tools or knowledge required to change are not easy or fun. It is true that the process of change may require some humility, and a buy-in that the tools or resources provided will actually work.
Environment
Absolutely essential to creating and sustaining change is ensuring a supportive system. Oftentimes, preventing change are things such as an unsafe environment (where one is in survival mode), new life challenges (a shift of focus from problem behavior), or a pattern of focusing on the “crisis of the week” (or believing the lie “I don’t have time to change”). Each of these are ways that we enable ourselves to continue in old habits using external factors as an excuse. However, just as equally destructive are when others enable us to do the same. Understanding how family roles adapt to allow for problem behavior to continue is important in creating and facilitating lasting change.
In addition to all of the reasons cited above, struggling with a mental health diagnosis while attempting to navigate the change process can be incredibly challenging. Check back next week for Peace Club’s discussion on dual diagnosis. Also check in with us on social by telling us what you think the hardest hurdle is to overcome in trying to change behavior. Did we miss anything? Let us know!