Ways to Support a Loved One In Early Recovery

When your loved one continues in a life of active addiction it can be absolutely heartbreaking to bear witness to the consequences they face as a result. Whether it is ailing health, financial or legal troubles, or the outright lack of concern it seems they have for your relationship, it is never easy to just stand by and watch them unravel. 

Even when they do find themselves (finally!) in a treatment setting, it is not easy to calm that small voice in the back of your head filled with doubt and concern that they might not use this opportunity to change their ways. You may have been subject in the past to their lying and scheming, and thus your hesitation continues, and the internal war rages on. 

Many treatment programs are aware of and emphasize the role of family members and friends in holistic, whole-person treatment from addiction. True, your support is an important part of your loved one’s recovery, but you may wonder, how can I support them while still maintaining my own self-care?

Educate Yourself

It can be dumbfounding to watch your loved one continue to make poor decisions despite the harmful consequences that seem so obvious. We believe, however, with increased understanding about the nature of addiction, you may be more capable to clearly understand its impacts and complicated relationship with mental health and why it presents such a daunting challenge to overcome. 

Not only is it beneficial to increase your own awareness and understanding regarding addictive patterns, including an increased ability to recognize the signs & symptoms of continued use, you will also be able to dispel stigmatizing beliefs that build walls rather than bridges with your loved one. Understanding what is really happening with them can provide the change of heart and mind you have toward them, regardless of how volatile, disrespectful or outright mean they become. With the strength to look into the depths of your loved one’s early experiences, you may experience the empathy you have been struggling so hard to find.

Encourage Them to Engage in Treatment

It is no surprise that just because an individual finds themself at a treatment center, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are on the true path to recovery. With the treatment team’s help and your encouragement, it is not until they are able to find motivation within themselves to do things differently that any real change is set in motion. Your loved one will likely struggle daily with their commitment to stay in treatment, and initially may balk at the hard work of recovery. But the longer they stay engaged, the higher their likelihood for sustained recovery. 

Show them that you are willing to do your part, by not only showing up to any invited session, but also by changing up your tactics, and meeting them and listening in a new way . Recognize the progress that they’ve made, and intentionally seek out ways to encourage their persistence and determination. 

Model Healthy Boundaries

It will be important moving forward in a relationship with your loved one to establish new roles and patterns of relating. Establishing good boundaries includes ensuring that your own mental and physical health is respected while being clear about your expectations. Gone are the days when you would bail them out from facing the consequences of their actions. 

While you may offer unwavering love and positivity, be clear  this is different from providing unconditional help, money, or housing. Remember also that there is power in follow-through. Your boundaries will likely be tested by your loved one looking to find the limits of your generosity. Hold firm and maintain your initial stance, remembering your own commitment to self-care. 

Let Go and Look Inward

While you may find countless ways to support your loved one throughout the process, when it comes down to it, it is important to remember to refrain from accepting the ultimate burden of their recovery. You cannot control the outcome, nor the process or progress of their journey. Don’t make the mistake of believing yourself to be the only thing keeping them sober, and allow them the space to rise up to cope with life’s adversities and develop resilience of their own. 

Make an effort to look inward, and use the time that your loved one is in treatment to develop healthy practices of your own, with balanced nutrition, exercise, and sleep. Learn what coping skills work for you, be it meditation, journaling, taking a yoga or exercise class, or walking through a nearby park. 

Consider investing in your own therapy, or attending support groups to seek out the encouragement of others who have dealt with similar situations. Use this time to prepare yourself for your loved one’s return, and ensure that when they do, you will be in the appropriate mindset to offer them the brace that they may need to turn recovery theory into daily practice.

To continue the discussion and support you in your own journey, get in touch with us here to learn more about the many adult and adolescent programs we offer for addiction and mental health struggles.